Tears in the ocean

More often than not, we tend to hurt those that we love. Either directly or indirectly. More often than not, we are hurt by those we love. All too often it is easy to release what we hide from the world once in our private, comfortable space.


Help to keep me from screaming, screaming out the things I fear, if I start screaming I fear that I will never stop, even after I grow hoarse.

I want to shout, shout to all in the world; 'I cannot take any more!'. Dear God, help me understand, help me learn from this, help me to teach others what lessons I am learning from all of this....... this........ shit.

Deep inside your pain & anguish slices like a sharp knife. Your eyes can barely contain the tears & pain as you try to keep a smile on your face. Your stomach churning the bitter truth you struggle so hard to contain.

All too often in my life I find myself in a place that feels, seems & acts like a deep dark night, with no dawn in sight. The dreams that make no sense yet you find terrifying. Once more I see the signals heralding darker times lie ahead, I want to scream, yell out that it is not fair, to throw things, hit my fists upon the surfaces hard as stone until they bleed. Bash my head into the floor until I pass out from pain. Alas, this will not help me find peace, I search for peace & understanding where there is none to be found.

Once more I beg for others to understand, offer me a light to find my path. There seems to be no one around to lend a offering.

Once more I feel as if I cannot go on, knowing deep inside that I must. Somehow. Someway.

Once more I find others looking to me for answers, as if I can make all of this go away & pretend that it has never existed.

So, quietly I cry my tears into the ocean. Adding my paltry tears into a sea of other tears. I will scream in silence, a quiet desperation. Seeking solace in nothing, seeking out something, anything to stunt the growing fear, terror.
Quietly I will suffer alone, Quietly I will bear the full weight of the burdens that nobody wants to hear much less bear.

I will smile, all the while I will cry my tears in the ocean.