Darkness

Stumbling, tumbling, thrashing, crashing. Crying, screaming, wailing.
I cannot keep a clear mind, cannot make a decision.
My heart is breaking, over & over again. Once more the scab is ripped off of an old wound.

How do I make up my mind when there is so much chaos? How do I make peace with things when my soul feels agitated? I have been down this road many times before, perhaps not exactly the same, similar nonetheless.

How can I do what I need to do? Crying, screaming, wailing.

How does one start the process? How does one end the process?
Stumbling, tumbling, thumping, thrashing, crashing.

Want to run, want to hide, curl up in a ball, cover my head. Hide in the darkness, never to see the light again. Hide in the darkness, why does this feel so hopeless? Helpless, angry, frustrated, hopeless.

Dry my eyes, live with choices I have made, enter the light on my own. Find comfort in the light, feel the warmth on my face, in my soul.

Take several deep breaths, take several steps forward. Don't look back, don't think about what has become, happened.

Scream no more, thrash no more.

Wandering around in thee bright light, wait for the end.

The end draws nigh, seek it out, welcome it with open arms, open, welcoming soul.
Do not think about the process, do not fear the unknown.

The end draws nigh, step out of the darkness, into the light. Wait, pace, smile, accept.