To little, too late

Scream, cry, shout, cannot take this anymore
Thrash, crash, bash the walls and doors around me
Falling unto knees, grasping fistfulls of grass in each hand yanking as hard as you can while the world continues all around.
The world spinning at a mind numbing pace ignoring you, ignoring the pain.
Reaching out for someone to take your hand, anyone, anybody. Nobody offering help, offering their hand.
To love someone and finding that you don't love enough or the proper way. You find your finger tips just grazing, not lingering.
Aching, throbing pain, tears that seem endless. Feeling your heart grow away, the hole growing deeper, wider, for an unrequited love.
Knowing all that you want cannot be had, for each carry a part that would fill that hole.
Standing in the rain, thunder masking your screams, lightning briefly showing the pain on your face, fists clenching tighter, nails drawing blood. Which way to turn to now? Falling back into the abyss, darkness and cold your only companion. Mind and heart growing numb, pushing all that hurts down, down deep into a ball like a kidney stone.
Continue the charade, masking, smiling, hiding what you truly desire, burying the pain so well no one would even guess the depths and level of the pain.
Many attempts to end the pain forever, fail, unknown as to why each attempt fails.
Just crawl out of the dark, dreamless sleep, force emotions down like a daily pill. Pulling clothing on peice by peice, trying not too think, just going through the motions.
Walking out the door, you take pause, look back to see if your body is still there, in that dreamless, darkness that wraps you up like a favorite blanket. Alas, life must go on.

It has been a long while since my last post, so off we go again - lets hope I remember.